MAINTAINING INTEGRITY DURING FRUSTRATION
Merriam-Webster defines Integrity as “Incorruptibility, Soundness, and Completeness.” Maintaining ones integrity is a sign of both emotional growth and maturity.
I firmly believe in the formula: Integrity = Power. Not allowing the opinions, words, or actions of others to cause you step outside your integrity is extremely powerful. Too many are easily deterred from their morals and value systems by getting lost in the sea of: proving a point, being led by pride, being a slave to their ego or trying to get people to “get it.”
All of these behaviours are fueled by a desire to control another person so they can agree or act according to what you feel is appropriate. In some circumstances, you may be absolutely right in your efforts to correct someone else who may be completely out of line and/or wrong. However, maintaining your integrity doesn’t mean you have to allow someone to walk all over you or disrespect you. Maintaining your Integrity means that you set “healthy boundaries.”
A “healthy boundary” is a standard you set for yourself that dictates how you allow people to treat you, who you allow in your life and what situations you allow yourself to be in. Setting “healthy boundaries” is extremely important.
Success is largely dependent on who we allow to have access to us, what situations we choose to be a part of and the standard of how we allow people to engage with us.
Healthy boundaries aren’t externally driven so ensuring that no one has mental or emotional control over you will take intentional but not overt, effort.
The moment you curse someone out, throw the first blow, or make a decision that is outside of your character, you have surrendered your power. No person or situation deserves to have emotional control over you.
Miyume McKinley LCSW is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. After graduating from XULA, Miyume founded her inclusive practice Epiphany Counseling. She is also the host of Epiphany Radio and founder of The Healing & Hope Foundation.